Holiday's from Hell

Any general discussion an go here
Posts: 1608
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:55 am

Holiday's from Hell

Postby martinkil » Wed Aug 14, 2019 7:25 am

A place where you can vent you displeasure at any recent holiday disasters!!

Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2019 12:10 pm

Re: Holiday's from Hell

Postby japotts16 » Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:43 am

Has anyone ever been to Costa Dorada? or even Budapest. Those are my two next destinations

Posts: 803
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2015 3:02 am

Re: Holiday's from Hell

Postby LoveWinners » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:13 pm

So a recent trip to Kalkan topped my previous worst holidan in cape verde...

Assuming i was thrilled for my 3rd holiday this year (I wasn't) would i choose turkey? absolutely not. Not meaning to sound ungrateful as i have enjoyed my previous visits there and all paid trips as a gift should not be sneared at.

finally coming round to the idea My alarm goes of at 430am (who in their right mind books flights from the second furthest airport from home?)My journey began far to early for my liking but my forced positivity was starting to kick in. arriving at the farm where the car would be homed we load the luggage into our transport and finally it feels like our vacation can start.

Arriving at the airport the series of events begins. As we were in plenty of time so a quick livener was in order , Reaching for my wallet that feels rather hard i pull it out and of course its my phone :roll: dread comes over me with a nightmare thought comes into my peabrain its in the glove box !!!!!! Then clear memory of me having it in my pocket right until a pitstop (that i didnt want to make btw) And asking to remind me to make sure i get it out when we park up..... :evil: , A few rants later i calm down as i realise that she had to pay for the drinks 8-) and if i play it right i can burn her plasric for the whole trip as noway she has enough paper for us both :D

after a delayed flight we arrive the other end jump in the private transfer (one thing she got right) only to be told the bloody A/C doesnt work :roll: so wind it is then....The apartment was pretty sweet but im ready to find a bar and chill for a few hours and watch the world go by.

The First day is always the same for me ,a few pints and wind down then grab some food and get a early one, one snag though....My partner is blonde and i'm sure others who have visited Turkey can attest that blonde woman to turkish men is the equivalent as a fucking unicorn to us,Needless to say 1 pint was enough for me to stand with all the leering, although it was probably a culmination of things including lack of sleep ,forgotten wallet,dislike of flying and the A/C issue. Food then sleep and day 1 is over.

Day2 -Day4 without incident.

Day5 we head out on a trip to see how the more authentic people live so we get picked up in a jeep and head up the mountain for what seems hours, i'm a shit passanger at the best of times but our driver was taking the piss,Off road doesn't come close and i swear to got at more than one point on 3 wheels were on the track up the mountain.We didnt take food as it was part of the trip to eat with the family but im starting to get hungry and grouchy so our driver was pissing me off more and more each minute that passes. We finally arrive ,It breaks my heart to see the conditions the family lives in Yet the kids looked about as happy as possible with a swing made from rope and a tire hung from a tree. We have a quick tour of their home which had 5 kids in what looked a 12x12 room.We contine outside and there is a large makeshift table and we are asked to take a seat where the mother brought out some apple which was fine but at this point i am starving and need FOOOOOOOD 25 minutes pass and out comes a huge pan that looks like a runny casserole with a large bowl of rice not the most exciting but there was so much im a happy chappy.

With food finally infront of me i ladle this runny casserole into my bowl (there wasn't plates but what do i care? im hungry) and dig in like a beast, within 3 mins im reaching for seconds and as im filling my bowl a catch the mother out the corner of my eye smiling , she was pleased that i was pleased you could tell,I smile back and ready myself for my next bowl. I noticed leanne had hardly touched hers and ask if she is ok? "there are crunchy bit in it" well dont be rude just eat i reply. She continues to push the bit in the bowl around while just slurping the liquid..."I cant eat the bits,there are too many of them" she wispers to me,I tell her its just Al dente then waves our driver over and asks him what the food was? he replied but couldn't understand him so smiled and he went back to his seat....We finish up ,say our goodbyes to the family and proceed to the jeep.

On our way out the driver started to drive towards the back of the house which was weird, he starts pointing at some chickens wandering around and making gestures to eating, ahh chicken casserole ,i turn to leanne and laugh at her for freaking out about chicken bloody casserole,same shit she make me in the winter :lol: she doesnt find it funny.I shout and start laughing and repeating chicken to the driver , while pointing at them but he start to shake his head :?: :?: :?: then points again and to my horror i see a couple of baby chicks ,he points at them and makes the same gestures as before and smiles at me :oops: with that leanne bursts into laughter..."Those hard bits were bones of the chicks,you idiot" , what you on about i relied,"they dont waste food like us ,they can't afford to be wasteful" with that im starting to not feel good and i have still got to get down the mountain with this lunatic driver who just wached with glee as i munched through a chicks carcass.

The rest of the holiday went 1 full day in bed/on toilet... a few stinking hangovers which i passed off as heat stroke (not thats she bought that) , a boat trip that had me feeling rough as the roll was really slow on it but i wasnt the only one who felt rough and she suffered more than me for once and decided to send her lunch overboard ,after consuming it first :lol:

got home to find a lovely welcome home gift with a speeding ticket but on the bright side i had plenty of lira to exchange to pay for it :roll:

Posts: 1608
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:55 am

Re: Holiday's from Hell

Postby martinkil » Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:00 am

Th crunchy bits were bones ... luxury .. they could have been the sun dried shells of cockroaches!!

Return to “Down The Pub”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest